FAILURE. Whew…just the sound of the word makes most people depressed.
But what is failure? And why do so many people fear it?
What Is Failure
The truth is, there’s really no such thing.
Did Edison fail 10,000 times when inventing the light bulb or did he succeed?
Your answer will depend on the way you define success and failure. The same event you call failure can also be perceived as a challenge, a learning lesson, and a chance to become better.
If you’re still on your journey, then keep going. As Mark Cuban says, you only have to be right once.
Failure is one thing and one thing only: QUITTING.
Failure = Quitting
Harness the ability to instead focus on the PROCESS and the JOURNEY of achievement. What you once considered failure will simply become the feedback you need to correct course and get you to your destination.
What Is Success
The moment you seek approval, acceptance, or become overly attached to an outcome, you lower to a position of weakness. The world is far too chaotic and unpredictable.
Instead, focus on what you can control: YOURSELF. Your behavior. Your habits. The actions you take. These are the only ways to gain true self-assurance and approval.
If we define failure as our decision to GIVE UP, we must define success as OUR DECISION TO TAKE ACTION.
Success = Action Taking
And so we become action oriented. Process oriented. And focused on DOING what needs to be done, taking those exact steps, and then giving yourself the approval and self-acceptance you’ve earned.
This also means that not taking action because of a fear of failure actually guarantees that failure. (Let that soak in)
Real World Example
Okay…time for some real-world examples:
John is a single guy and decides to approach every girl he finds attractive. Suddenly, he decides to give up on that goal because he’s too nervous and worried about what others might think.
- WHAT HAPPENED: John is outcome oriented. His sense of self-worth is coming from an external source (another woman), and he needs a positive response in order to feel good about himself. This person is outcome oriented, focusing on what he CAN’T control.
- WHAT HAPPENS NOW: Instead, John now decides to focus on the process. He knows that in order to meet an attractive girl he must start to put himself out there and behave differently. John feels good about himself because regardless of the girl’s RESPONSE to him, his approval and confidence is gained by taking positive action.
Chess not checkers.
Remember: self-confidence is achieved by the actions you take in life. If you give your best each day, you’ll feel good despite anyone else’s opinion.
RULE #1: If you don’t take action towards your goal, you have FAILED.
RULE #2: If you take the necessary action towards your goal, you have SUCCEEDED.
Make avoiding important tasks the ultimate failure, and taking action regardless of what happens a personal success.
- There is no such thing as failure. It only exists if we label something that in our minds. Failure can really only happen when you give up, otherwise it becomes feedback that gets us to our destination.
- Succss, then, is the decision to take bold, forward action in our life. We become self-assured, and self-confident when we take steps to achieve what we want. Your confidence is experienced during the process and is totally outcome independent. This gives you the ability to always feel your best no matter what happens around you.
Get the fear of failure out of your life for good. It’s an excuse and this year it’s time to drop the excuses.
The next step would be to create a plan of ACTION for your goals, and then commit to following it 100%. Future articles on doing just that are coming up soon.
The main takeaway from all of this: SELF ESTEEM COMES FROM THE ACTIONS YOU DO AND DON’T TAKE. It’s that simple. Worried about letting others down?
How about you stop letting yourself down.